Zayn & little Ian

It has been almost one month since I wrote in you.

Lots of things change... got worrying news about my triple blood test yesterday... doctor recommended that I go for the amniocentesis test... will be going for the test on next Wednesday... results supposed to be out in 2-3 weeks time.

Emotionally, I am a mess... I can be crying one moment and ok the next... find it difficult to concentrate at work... the worst is that I am extremely confused of what I have to do... I have fallen in love with the unborn child... am so afraid that the test give a negative outcome and then I have to make a decision... can I then live with my decision?

I know that I have to be strong... but it is easier said than done... the rationale side of me know that I should just go for the test and depending on the outcome, make the most appropriate decision... but the emotional side of me am so afraid and doesn't want to go for the test

What should I do?... I really have no idea and am taking each minute as it comes...