It has been so LONGGGGGG since I write here....

Ian has been growing well.... and moving around a lot especially at night.....

Just went for another scan today, and he finally showed us his face..... he is so cute..... CHUBBY, but not smiling..... think he may either be sleeping or just too shocked to smile at us..... but it was nice seeing him after 4 weeks.....

He is also a bit on the high side of the weight.... he is already 1.8 kg when an average baby at 31 weeks is supposed to be only 1.6 kg..... yeah, 0.2 kg sound like a small difference, but to a baby, I think that is a remarkable difference.....

Just 9 more weeks to go, before Ian is born..... and what a difference it will make in my life..... From just a couple to a family..... and all the changes that have to be made..... but guess after 5 yrs of marriage, it is time for a change.... :-)

Shall update further in the next couple of weeks....

Tata.

It been 3 weeks since my last entry...

Found out that I am being promoted to MX 11 this year... felt happy, yet unhappy too... isn't it just human nature to be never happy with what is given to you... actually, I am happy with the promotion as that means a good pay increase.... yet, I am also unhappy as it might deter me from finding other jobs.... Guess the truth is that I am bored with my job and needs a change of environment... and of course the fact that people around me are also getting new jobs...

But even if I am looking for a new job, I can only do so from Jan 07 onwards as I wanna keep all my Year 2006 bonus and hopefully, get my performance bonus for Year 2006 too.... I am kinda confused now... just have to tolerate my job for another 8 more months and then can move on some where else.... just hope job market is still good then...

Enough complaining about my job.... on the baby front, I am growing so much BIGGER now... and Ian is also quite big already.... I just can't wait to give birth & go on maternity leave & only return to work in Sep 06.... wonder if my pals will still be here...

I am back again...

Been feeling the movement of the little baby since last week.... he tends to be more active in the evenings and at night.... kinda scary as I think my little baby will be a NIGHT OWL.... and I am not a very night person

I have also been shopping for baby clothes... to date, got 4 cute outfits for him to wear when going out.... 4 outfits for day time.... and 5 outfits for night time.... need to shop for more outfits for him as he needs at least 10 pieces of each type of outfit....

Will also be going for my detailed scanning this Wednesday... I just hope that everything is okay with little Ian.... oh yes, forget to mention that his name will be Ian Ihtesham Kusuma.... of IIK for short (sounds like the EEK the purple cat which always get hurts while helping others).... :-P.... back to the scanning issue..... we just need to see his lips & heart valves....

Gotta run.... write some other day....

Got the detailed amnio test results on Friday, 09 December 2005. There is no apparent chromosome abnormalities with the baby.... so that means my little baby is fine.... and not suffering from down syndrome.... however, still need to go for the full scan in my 20th week to see whether there are any physical abnormalities (such as heart problems, etc) with the baby.

Also found out that I am expecting a little baby boy.... so that means no more shopping for little dresses and cute baby thingies for my little Ian.... How do I feel about expecting a little boy??.... Truthfully, I don't know what to feel.... kinda numb as I am expecting that I will have a little girl.... and now, found out that it will be a little boy.... but it is also kinda fun afterall, no more worries whether the kiddo will be big size as afterall, boys are supposed to be bigger in size... :-P
Soon I will be going shopping for baby clothes..... blue and boring ones... :-P

I went for the amnio test yesterday... took both the amnio-PCR and the full amnio... the injection does hurt, but it was not as bad as I anticipate it to be...

Anyway, to cut the story short, but a phone call from doctor today at 2 plus in the afternoon... the result for the amnio-PCR is normal... Thank GOD for it!!... now, I can bond with the baby and just wait for another 2 weeks for the full amnio test result to be out.

It has been almost one month since I wrote in you.

Lots of things change... got worrying news about my triple blood test yesterday... doctor recommended that I go for the amniocentesis test... will be going for the test on next Wednesday... results supposed to be out in 2-3 weeks time.

Emotionally, I am a mess... I can be crying one moment and ok the next... find it difficult to concentrate at work... the worst is that I am extremely confused of what I have to do... I have fallen in love with the unborn child... am so afraid that the test give a negative outcome and then I have to make a decision... can I then live with my decision?

I know that I have to be strong... but it is easier said than done... the rationale side of me know that I should just go for the test and depending on the outcome, make the most appropriate decision... but the emotional side of me am so afraid and doesn't want to go for the test

What should I do?... I really have no idea and am taking each minute as it comes...

The last few weeks have been an exciting one.... found out that I am pregnant.... suffered from all day sickness... no appetite to eat and worse of all, found out that I can't stand all type of smell..... life as a pregnant woman is gonna be interesting for sure.